Babblings at 4AM

Recently it seems that I have been spreading myself too thin. I feel that I am at a constant state of chaos and it is starting to take a toll. For example, I woke up at 2:30AM and have not been able to fall back asleep due to my mind going all over the place. It's now 4:30 so I decided to get up and basically start my day.

I have always been that "go to" girl in several areas in my life with work, friends and other random stuff and have always loved it. I love helping people, creating solutions and new paths for myself and getting things done or scratched off the list. I have always had trouble saying NO when others ask for assistance. I guess I just need to figure out how to balance everything and manage my time more efficiently but HOW!??

I have been at my current job for just over a year and recently have been questioning my happiness there.....the significance of touch changing the lives of others through my staff. I often question my ability as a leader to my therapists and front desk staff and how that effects the over all smooth operations of the massage clinic. I often wonder if I am at the right place since I have all these questions and rely on others performance to reflect my overall performance in my owners eyes. I guess I am questioning my decision on going to corporate massage.....it just seems like sales, numbers and appointments is constantly hovering over my head and that is not the reason I got into bodywork.....so do I really want to continue down this path or swim upstream against the current with the rest of the therapist out there.

I just wish there was more time in the day. More time for relaxing, family, training,etc. I surround myself with really ambitious people who seems to have every thing mapped out and organized and I wonder how do they do it? How do they work full time, train for hours a day, organize events and still make dinner for the family and not have their spouse feel neglected. Surely they are cloned or either have some sort of magic potion they are not sharing with me!

I guess that's it for now.....since I am up I can use this time to catch up on my friend's blogs:)